I wish I could explain why him going away affects me the way it does. I’v never had some one close go away. I don’t know how to say goodbye. I don’t understand the implications of someone close going away. S says that it changes everything. But you know what. I’m going to start believing it doesn’t. How about the lameass saying “no one is truly gone if they still live in your heart” or something like that. Some body somewhere made that up and the fact that it’s became a saying means it has some value.
I’m tired of being a drama queen. It gets too me after a while. I can no longer spend time figuring it out. The plain simple fact is that I love him and it’s difficult to realize that I won’t see him as often as I have especially in the past few months. I’m an idiot. It took me 5 yrs to realize that he means so much to me. Do I really think that one year of making up for what I never did for 5 yrs would suddenly make all the difference? Yes on some level I hoped it would.
Well, good bye old friend. I will try my best to make sure we’re still close friends even when we’re 40. That’s our landmark. That’s our year. Ill remind you of that when we’re 40.
I love you.Goodbye
