I rather not feel

Over the span of the last few days I have kept a record of my thoughts on the ability to feel..ever paragraph is a new day..

Its so much better to not feel..just be cold and logical...all ure options are clear...these are the options..these are the consequences of this option and these are the pros and cons of the consequence....heck...be more anal and run a mathematical optimum solution to happiness for the rest of ure life...makes life so much simpler...don't have to deal with the messiness of illogical emotions and feeling...

How do people think its ok for them to define how you should feel...or define how u must have felt....why is it ok for other people who don't live in your head to analyse ure feelings...if there's one things that is ures and only ures...is ure emotions...that's nobody elses to determine

Emotions I rather not feel....sadness..need..desire..anger..desperation..

Wats more tortuous about feeling is letting it out...if you keep all these emotions bottled up..you are going to burst...so how do you let it out...you write,you paint,you draw....but who do you talk to....the things about sharing ure feelings is just that..sharing...u are eventually sharing your burden of your own thoughts with someone else...and those close to you would share it but is it truly fair to them...to make then carry your burden...its your own baggage...you have to carry it over how many ever expanses you cross..over mountains and across rivers...if its too heavy..then u have to drop it and leave it behind...if u can't..well..then...its your burden to carry...question is..how far can u go before u break under the weight of the baggage you refuse to let go off..

There is no conclusion...just thoughts...

and then some one said "A woman will allow herself to be clouded by her emotions. Her reasonable thought becomes completely unreasonable over the most ridiculous thing. It's a girl thing."

But heres something else to ponder on

" The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy. - Jim Rohn"